from The Etude, January 1898, pg 8
“How did you ever achieve all this?” asked a listener of Mendelssohn, on hearing him play several of his compositions. “I lived like a hermit and worked like a horse,” was the answer of this great musician, too honest to affect an excellence as costing him nothing.
Some time ago I heard a man say to a successful musician, “you are a lucky chap.” The musician replied, “Nothing of the kind. Years ago, when we were young together, I was employed in the same business you were. Every evening you spent on the corner of the street with the boys, and thought you had worked enough through the day. I had no liking for that, and went home, shut myself up in a room, and studied hard; but there is a difference in our surroundings now. You are in the same old rut, and think it is luck with me because I got out of it. It was nothing but hard work. You had your good time then; I can afford to have mine now. I am sorry for you; but it would be impossible now for you to rectify your mistake.”
--- credited to "Exchange" (not sure exact source)
Thought I'm not quite as seemingly heartless (keywords at the end: impossible, mistake), I sometimes feel that way. All the nights spent in the practice room during my undergrad, and generally my entire lifestyle now. I could be teaching at a public school, with somewhat free evenings. But yet I remain. Tied to this computer, reading 100 year old magazines. Writing conference presentations, a thesis, and hopefully soon articles for publication. Hopefully someday I shall see the fruits of my labor. Hopefully someday very soon.
I have to believe that your recent sojourns to national conferences, and the positive experiences you had are a tangible part of the payoff that you can see _right now_. I also have to say that while at Tech, I also lived a hermetic lifestyle. School, home, rinse and repeat. Moving to a different program for my PhD has allowed me to attempt to balance that intense, focused, dedication to grad school with an attempt to become involved with things that leave me fulfilled as a person outside of school (i.e. I'm volunteering with the ACLU and Basic Rights Oregon, playing open mics, and doing a Friday night grad student pot luck). I think the important thing is to realize that you need that time away to make you more productive when you step up to you thesis, or the paper, or the recital. The goal is to find the balance, which I guess I'm still working on.... ;)
ReplyDeleteThanks Mac. ;)
ReplyDeleteI guess I am just ready to see the finished document printed, all 120ish pages of it. I want to see my name in print other than a program. It's my latest goal- publication.
But you are right- the hermetic lifestyle is taxing, and I'm working on finding a balance too. I won't be moving thousands of miles away, but I will be trying more time away.