Gabby

This post is going to go off the academia/music track that this blog typically stays on perpetually. I'm reading Mark Kelly/Gabrielle Giffords book currently, which is somewhat uncharacteristic for me. I stay away from books based on current events because more often than not I feel like those types of books are published simply to make money, to generate revenue for its writers/publishing company. But this one I bought the week it was released because all that Gabrielle Giffords is/was, I find to be incredibly inspirational and though-provoking (again another uncharacteristic thing for me to read-- motivational tomes).

I could reference many stories, but I think the two take away points from the book are: 1) Mark Kelly's realization that everything he and his wife have done in their lives prepared them for this shooting and the subsequent long road to recovery. From their brief meeting with Stephen Hawking to training for NASA, small details and events informed their current situation. And 2) The smallest details of one's character are the things that are most endearing about a person and it is the fragility of personality that can be the most scary when it comes to brain trauma. [I should say I'm only half way through the book, so I'm sure there's more to be said].

On point 1)
Every chapter is a sort of dichotomous then/now. A reference to a past event that makes their present situation more understandable. I mentioned previously the training at NASA, which was one of the more revelatory moments for me as I read.... Not only for the practical advice this provides, but also questioning what tools am I learning now (both in and out of school) that will help me later in life.
"When I look back at my life, I see certain experiences and lessons that helped prepare me to be a caregiver to Gabby. At the Merchant Marine Academy, I learned to appreciate that actions have consequences; how you respond in a situation determines the chain of events that follow....
I also embraced the mantra of NASA's first flight director, Chris Kraft: When you don't know what to do, don't do anything. I kept that in mind, as I tried not to rush into decisions about Gabby. If there was time to collect facts and weigh data, I did it....
Training for and then flying the space shuttle, I learned how to think clearly under pressure, and how to avoid making mistakes when I was incredibly tired. That's a learned skill as well, and I'd need it in the early days after Gabby was shot, when I was functioning on just a couple hours of sleep."

On point 2)
Mark talks of Gabby playing with his wedding ring subconsciously and that only days after the shooting, that was one of the first things that she did. The first signs that she would be able to return to a state of somewhat normalcy. He also speaks of her moments of self-deprecating humor that re-emerged (calling herself Goofball when she said the wrong word) or the curiosity he misses- all the questions she once asked that is slowly coming back. The book highlights not only the woman that Gabby was before the shooting, but how that woman is now coming back to life- out of the fog that the trauma caused her brain.
The whole scenario leads to more questions: what parts of our personality are the most memorable and those that would "shine through" if something happened. What is the essence that you hope survives in the midst of a major life-altering injury. The subtitle of the book is "A Story of Courage and Hope." Are those the words you hope define you? When Diane Sawyer asked Gabby what is a word she uses to define Mark, Gabby looked lovingly at her husband and said very assertively "brave."

I'm not sure what would come through for me. I would hope my tenacity would remain. It just seems to be in my nature to buckle down and get the job done when needed. I also think my perfectionist streak would come out- wanting to do things right, being incredibly frustrated when I couldn't have things exactly as they should be. What I worry about is my tendency to stress. And perhaps if I can work on overcoming that feeling of being overwhelmed (as some have said the knee jerk "tailspin" reaction) every day, then if it becomes "crunch time," I would be more apt to cope. But I know one thing that I have in common with the amazing Gabrielle Giffords: my severe independent and stubborn streak. I try to be so incredibly self-reliant that if something debilitating did happened, I know having to rely on people 24/7 would frustrate me as much as it does her.

What I find so admirable about both Gabby and Mark is their persistent positive outlook. They were put in a very dark situation but yet they are able to learn and grow from the experience. The book is a way to also allows others to learn and grow from this situation; understand how our mind copes with trauma, how music can heal (read more about her music therapy team here), how love and laughter is its own form of medicine. I highly recommend reading more about this fierce and strong family.

Bonus: a recording of her voice from November 14, 2011